28 October 2012


With Frankenstorm bearing down, and 500 itsy-bitsy chocolate bars safely hidden (from whom, I'm unsure) in our large kitchen cupboard,  my mind is on Halloween.  When it comes to horror my readings run as far as the two typical giants: Stephen King and Edgar Allan Poe.     From these authors there are a couple of books  that freaked me out.  Way back in the 90's It, the miniseries aired.  Like most I was glued to my set, firmly entrenched behind a mountain of pillows with my fingers firmly pressed into my ears, too terrified to actually hear half of the dialogue.  Once the fear of Pennywise  dissipated I read the book.  Like most  King books there is some random sex thrown in that makes little to no sense, thankfully the really weird crap happens at the end making it somewhat easier to ignore.  The book that made me a Stephen King fan though, was  Bag of Bones.  Wonderfully written, a real step beyond the typical formulaic King style, this book has a Gothic element while still being firmly grounded in Maine.  

I wonder what Poe's perception of this century would be if he was aware that most people know of him through  The Simpsons .  I predict something similar to Hop-Frog being composed.  Of all Poe's short stories, it is this little revenge tale that has captured my imagination so completely.    But of all the tales, it is The Murders in the Rue Morgue that truly highlights the genius that is Edgar Allan Poe.   

As you can see, horror books are not my thing.  Horror films though, now we are talking. My top 5 horror films are:

Number 5:  Hellraiser
(upon seeing Pinhead) Oh, shit....
No shit, indeed.  Hellraiser goes just to the point of gross that I can stand, apparently I can stand a lot but not Texas Chainsaw Massacre a lot.  If you know what I refer to, then you are one sick puppy with some pretty good taste in gore.

Number 4:  Dawn of the Dead
Every dead body that is not exterminated becomes one of them.  IT gets up and kills!  The people it kills get up and kill!
My brother brought home a VHS copy of this bad boy and voilĂ   a zombie fan I became.  The thought of being locked in a mall, with free reign to all that is in there, plus the extra bonus drama of zombies trying to break in is, well, awesome.

Number 3:  Rocky Horror Picture Show
Frank-n-Furter it's all over.  Your mission is a failure, your lifestyle's too extreme.  I'm your new commander.  Your are now my prisoner.  We return to the Transylvania.  Prepare the transit beam.
Yes, I know not really scary but come on!   There are so many reasons why I love this film that it is resulting in an overload of words blocking me from expressing myself.  Basically the film exemplifies my inner desire to be a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania.   I do hope that while reading parts of this, you were singing.

Number 2:  Halloween  
He came home!
Good lord, he did.  Get the hell of out of that town people! I don't know what is more frightening, hearing this or seeing this. If ever I were to see and hear both at the same time while walking down the street I would die right there on the spot.  

Number 1:  Amityville Horror
Kathy Lutz:  I just wish that...all those people hadn't died here.  I mean...ugh!  A guy kills his whole family. Doesn't that bother you?
George:  Well, sure, but...houses don't have memories.
My life took an unfortunate turn for the terrified today when, while researching for this post I discovered that this film is based on real life events.  I have spent over 25 years trying to ignore that this movie ever existed.  To be truthful, I have never  been able to watch it through to the end.  Ever.  Thus is the consequence of a little girl's first horror film viewing while at her first Halloween sleep over party at the age of 9.  My Daddy had to rescue me that night and take me home.  I remember not sleeping for a week.

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